on self validation
In a world where every view point can be validated by at least one other external person, it's impossible to cultivate a sense of self that can self validate our personal experiences.
The rush to hop onto Reddit and stumble on a thread where multiple people are echoing what you're thinking, makes you think that other people are better guidelines than you.
No one knows what they are doing. It's all a sham. Everyone's making it up and honestly, it's not really a flex to know what you're doing anyway. Take it from someone who made knowing it all her identity.
I struggle to self validate myself. I feel so uncertain when I make some decisions, and I try to fight the urge to not go on Reddit and find someone else with my situation. Either, I find someone who has been through it and they did the same thing I'm debating doing. Or I find someone who doing something different and I object. Or in rare cases, I don't find anyone.
Either way it's a lose-lose. The more I rely on what other people say to do in my situation, the less I rely on my own ability to navigate situations. And in the situations when I do try to self validate, it's hard cause I've not exercised that muscle yet.
With everything, a new thing takes time to become second nature. It's difficult now because I'm used to outsourcing my validation to other people. But now I get to handle it myself. And the best part about that is, I can choose to self validate in any way I want. I can do it at any time, any location. I don't have to worry about finding a co-sign. I am the co-sign. I am the sign!
So, self validate.